As much as I love fall (the apples, the cooler weather, the leaves!), I also find that it's one of the most stressful times of the year for me. There's so much to get done at work and so little time to get it done.
So much to worry about. So much to think about. So much to do!
And as each year starts, I start to worry if I'm good enough. If I'm old enough, experienced enough, qualified enough. The kids don't worry me as much as the parents, to be honest. As a young teacher, a lot of parents look at me as if I don't know anything even though I've worked with preschoolers for nearly half my life (I started volunteering to help in preschool Sunday School classes in 6th grade).
I let it all go to my head. Part of me wants to prove them wrong but the other half wants to shrivel up and second-guess myself. I know that I've got what it takes but I let their thoughts (even if they don't say it aloud) go to my head and let it speak louder than the truth.
I've never had a good feeling of self-confidence. I've had bouts, but I've always struggled with feeling good enough, whether it's my body, my smarts, or in this case, my job. I'm not writing this asking for sympathy or a "you're amazing, girl!" but rather because I weirdly enough need to remember this and get this out of my system. I need to write about it and I need to let it all go.
I may not be the best teacher out there, I may still have things to learn (because I do and truly believe we all can learn), but I am enough. I am here, doing this job for a reason and I need to remember that comparison won't help. And that I can't let the thoughts or words of another person break me down and prevent me from
And thanks to these amazing posts by Darling Magazine and The Everygirl, I'm learning to tell myself that I am good enough. Not the best, but good enough. And I'm also trying to incorporate more of these things into my life, too:
+Stop comparing. I find that when I compare myself to others, I'm never good enough. Whether it be the people on television, the people on Facebook, or the people I work with, I cannot compare myself to them. Comparison truly robs me of joy.
+Give myself more credit. Not because I deserve it, but because I need to view myself in a better way.
+Realize and accept that I can't be the best. It's just not possible. Perfection isn't possible. And while it may seem depressing to some, I see it as potential for growth and a reason to relax a bit, too.
So do you ever have feelings of not being good enough? What do you do to prevent/cure it?
I feel you so much on this girl!
ReplyDeleteYes and yes. And you are great!
ReplyDeleteDon't we all compare at some point? One of the big threads woven into Allume was that thought... comparison to others and how dangerous it is. It's such a hard temptation to fight!
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you on everything you said. I'm just trusting God that He knows what He's doing and is putting me where I am because with His help I'm capable. Of course, that's easier said then done.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I am praying the Lord sends you a parent who will be a champion for you. A parent who is grateful for all you do and who takes the time to thank you.
ReplyDeleteOn worry a long time ago, a friend of mine mentioned that "worry" is our culture's socially acceptable sin. It can be so damaging and consuming. I'm so glad you're seeing this and fighting this tendency.
Those parents needs to take a look at my face because I'm always the one thinking, "you don't know anything even though you've managed to get this kid to year 5 of his/her life and you're still dealing with temper tantrums in the middle of the grocery store." (sorry if that was a little rough and judgmental - working on it!! ;) )
on self-confidence - I'm right there with you. I don't have great advice because I'm literally sitting next to you in the boat, but I am here with you in it. :)
I may not be the best teacher out there, I may still have things to learn (because I do and truly believe we all can learn), but I am enough. - loved this. So much. You are enough, Kiki. And more.
Lovely post. A friend who homeschools her kids said, "I can't do this. I'm not good enough." Her friend said, "You can't without the help of the Lord."
ReplyDeleteWe can't do anything of this without His help and seeking Him daily. Our confidence and trust always has to come from Him and not our own abilities in inablities. I think of Timothy who was young and now had to preach and Paul encouraged Him to not worry about that but remember Christ. He knows our weaknesses. He knows the things we struggle with but when we lean on Him and ask for help and wisdom He gives it to us. I never feel like a good enough parent and I think someone else could do a better job. But this is where the Lord has me and because I'm leaning on Him He helps me to serve my family with joy. This way He gets the glory and praise.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful post.
You definitely need to give yourself more credit, my friend!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!! "comparison is the thief of joy" -CS Lewis. you are amazing girl!!
ReplyDeleteYou are enough! And incredible!
ReplyDeleteI totally get where you're coming from! We all need to speak truth into each others lives and assure one another that we are good enough!
ReplyDeleteKiki, you ARE good enough!
Oh man, I am WITH you on this girl. It's so easy to question and doubt, but remembering that we are enough is so important. The second I start comparing myself with people around me, the more and more and more discouraged I become....but I am so thankful for God's faithfulness in using books, blogs, and people around me to encourage and affirm who God created me to be.
ReplyDeleteGlad you understand and can relate, Shane! I feel like it's something we all struggle with and yet something we don't really talk about, you know? That said, I'm really glad you do understand! :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I feel like it's easy for us to just sweep these feelings under the rug and pretend they're not there (and by "us," I mean ME). :)
ReplyDeleteYes, we do! :) I feel like it's something that I'm constantly trying to overcome and yet find myself falling into that trap more often than not. Comparison is definitely dangerous and a terrible temptation, too!
ReplyDeleteSo much wisdom and truth in what you said, Katelin! I'm glad you understand and also are trusting in Him. It's definitely a comfort knowing that He knows what He's doing and that we're where we are thanks to His plans and help. Definitely easier said than done, but still so true! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this amazingly thoughtful, honest, and well, just plain AWESOME comment. Getting all this feedback has really lifted my spirits and also reminded me that I'm not alone. :)
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I love what you said about worry! It's so true that worry is seen as an acceptable sin (making it that much easier for me to fall back on it!). Like you said, it's a consuming, damaging, and just plain terrible habit to have!
And girl, I couldn't help but smile when you talked about parents and grocery stores. While I do believe that parents are the best (and first) teachers out there, I also think that there's a certain amount of respect that parents need to give their child's teacher. And that grocery store scene is all too real (although, I have heard your perspective changes when you become that parent!). :)
Lastly, so glad you understand about the self-confidence thing! I'm glad I'm not alone in this boat. :) You are more than enough, too, friend!!
Thank you, Ladonna! I love that you pointed me right to Jesus because in the end (and really, in the beginning of each day and every moment in between!) I need to be looking and turning the Him. I've been trying to really work on surrendering to Him and just realizing that I CANNOT do it all on my own.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about God knowing our weaknesses. There is so much truth in that! I heard on the radio recently (by Luis Palau, I think) that we were created for a relationship with Christ because He knew how much we needed Him (or something to that effect). What you said really just affirmed that because God does know our struggles and wants so badly for us to turn to Him so He can help!
So everything you just wrote? Just another message I know God placed into my mind and heart that I know is anything but coincidence!
Thanks, sweet friend! Giving myself more credit is something I've always struggled with but sometimes I just need to hear it from someone else to really believe AND do it. :)
ReplyDeleteAmen to that quote! I've heard multiple people use that quote (I think I've seen Theodore Roosevelt quote that, too!) and it's SO true. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Allison! That means a lot--especially coming from someone I just "met" via blogging! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you! I am truly blessed and amazed at the community of women who have just opened up and shared wisdom and love with me today via the comments section. We really do all need one another to build each other up! :)
ReplyDeleteAMEN. :) You are so wise, Amy! Everything you said about second-guessing and comparing yourself is so true and familiar to me. :) But what you said about how God uses books and blogs and people to encourage and affirm His faithfulness and provision? Spot on as well. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like it's definitely something that young adults relate to. I feel like with occupations such as teaching or counseling, it's bound to happen to young adults in these jobs because people are skeptical--especially if there are situations where they might not be right (you know?).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love what you said about our culture valuing perfection. It's impossible and something we're all taught, but yet it's something we still strive for--even if it's impossible to reach!
And I also love what you said about having God meet us where we're at. SOOOO true and such a great reminder.
I'm off to go watch the Francis Chan video now! I've seen him around the web a lot lately but have yet to read any of his book(s?). I think i need to change that asap!
Thanks again for these sweet words, Britney! It means a lot hearing them from a close friend like you!
It's wayyy to easy to play the comparison game!
ReplyDeleteMy Mom always taught me to do my best, to not be afraid of failure, and to listen up when learning opportunities show up. Those pieces of advice have never let me down. :)
uuhhmmm... did you write this about me!? I literally just spent the morning telling myself all of those things... I'm not good enough, you can't do this, you can't do that, you didn't do this... I have been stressed out the past couple of weeks and it all hit me this morning!! I will be praying for you that you can remember those things and that our worth is found in our Father, and not our jobs or how good we are at it. And even though you weren't looking for it, you ARE super duper AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree.
ReplyDeleteYes you should read some of his books, Crazy Love, and forgotten God are really good! He also has a new one out that he wrote with his wife, that i wanna read.
No problem girl! We need to have that skype date soon!! Let me know when you can.
I think I heard more about his books because of the new one coming out that he wrote with his wife (I think that's the one that they're going to donate proceeds for, right?). I really want to read Crazy Love because I've heard it's one of those must-read books and he sounds like a fascinating person, too!
ReplyDeleteAnd yesss!!! I'm free on early Sunday afternoons--what works best for you (we can totally email about this, too). :)
Agreeeeed. It's way to easy for me to fall back into that game/trap.
ReplyDeleteYour mom sounds like a truly wise woman (not that I had any doubts since you're such an amazingly thoughtful and wise friend!). :) Her advice is spot on and sounds a lot like what my parents told me (and tell me now, too). :)
Oh girl, so glad to hear I'm not alone in this AND that you read this with such amazing timing!
ReplyDeleteI've found with time that when I write from the heart, it's not only therapeutic for me but it's also a time when I can grow closer to fellow bloggers. :)
And I love that you reminded me that our worth is found in Him ALONE. It's so easy for me to forget that! Praying that your week gets better, too! I'm thinking some snail mail is in order (sorry I've been slacking!). That or maybe a Skype date if you're ever open to that idea? :)
Great tips and articles!! I definitely struggle with this in a lot of areas in my life... and I know there's a new one coming with motherhood too!
ReplyDeleteThose articles were spot on and I'm thinking it's about time I re-read them, too. I'm glad you understand and can relate! But girl, you've got this motherhood thing down. I think that being new at something is always the hardest, but I have a feeling you've got it in you (and not just literally speaking). :)
ReplyDeleteStop comparing=YES! This is one of the things I am most guilty of and it truly does steals your joy. Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Aimee! I feel like it's so easy for me to fall into the comparison trap and I have to remind myself that it really does rob us of our joy. :)
ReplyDelete#preach.
ReplyDeleteit's easy to say "you're awesome" to another person and mean it 100% but it is always way harder to believe it ourselves. just remember, satan's biggest goal is to separate you from God and he will use any lie he can to make it easy. especially the lie that you're not worthy (aka not good enough). <3
AMEN! I can definitely say it to others but can never really accept it and hear it from myself. It's almost like when people compliment me and I say thank you but don't always feel like it really sinks into my heart and mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd I never would have connected that to Satan. But it's sooo true. We have to remember that sin is there and that we have to strive for HIM, each and every day.
Thanks for those wise words, friend!