I've said it once (here, to be exact) and I'll say it again: I stink at self-care. And I think it runs in my genes. My mom has always been a crazy hard worker, my sister gets told to take her breaks at work, and I get the same thing. It's probably a girl thing (maybe?) but I've realized that it's something that I need to work on.
My mentor at work reminded me that if I want to take care of others and do my job well, I need to take care of myself.
A lot easier said than done, I joked.
But after a few hectic days, I've realized that it might be something I need to focus on. If I want to be a good teacher (or friend, sister, or daughter, even) I need to take some time to take care of myself. I need to take my lunch breaks, go for a run/walk, hydrate myself, and just sit down in general. I can't see it as being selfish, but as being a much-needed routine in my daily schedule.
It'll likely be hard transition, though, seeing as I hate admitting that I need help or need to take time for myself. I hate burdening people and asking them for help. I like to be able to do things on my own. But I also need to remember that asking for help isn't necessarily a sign of weakness, but a sign that I'm overwhelmed and just can't do everything on my own.
And like a wise pin says, I can do anything, but I can't do everything.
So my goal for this upcoming school year is to practice self-care. To take my breaks, to go to the bathroom and eat lunch (I can't believe I admitted that on my blog), and to sit down, too.
What do you do for self-care? Do you believe in self-care? How do you advocate for it?
p.s. Apparently I'm not the only one with these kinds of thoughts--loved reading Elizabeth's take on listening to your inner voice and knowing when it's time to stop one thing and start another.
I'm working on self-care/work balance too. I use a big water bottle that holds 4 cups and try to have it gone by lunch (bathroom break!). As far as lunches I always go to the break room in order to make myself sit down and stop focusing on my to-do list, even if it's only for 15 minutes. Those 2 things are helping me. A goal to start is to workout after school more regularly.
ReplyDeletei am the same way, Kiki! i feel the overwhelming need to do everything on my own & not ask for help. but you are so right that it's not selfish, it is wise & needed! we can't do everything!! we need to ask the Lord for help, as well as other people. i have started asking people to help me (baby steps) & it has lifted some of the weight off my shoulders! weight i never really felt until it was gone!
ReplyDeleteIt is important to take care of yourself. You are useless if you run yourself to the ground, then you aren't useful to anyone. We can't do it all and the Lord will remind us of this as we walk with Him.
ReplyDeleteThe grad program I am in is HUGE on self-care and daily practice. These things can be anything but basically the point is to do one thing every day just for yourself. Don't think of it has selfish because you are right, how can we help others if we are not fully present from lack of self care? My self care is my journal time, and it has made all the difference. Praying for you girl!!
ReplyDeleteAfter a long time of NOT taking care of myself and always thinking of others I ended up really sick. I was so consumed with wanting people to be happy with me and like me (I guess it was technically for selfish reasons) that I stopped thinking about what made me happy and then things flipped for me. I REQUIRE an hour each day to work on me...going to the gym or just sitting and reading...I eat fairly healthy and drink as much water as is allowed for one body to intake. It sounds silly but just taking those few seconds to take a drink helps relax your mind. It is hard to let go and let someone else sometimes BUT it is the greatest feeling ever!!
ReplyDeleteself-care is SO important. i never really figured it out/understood how important it was/is until i started getting healthy. we are given ONE body for an undetermined length of time...and we need to do our best to take care of it. i often tell my friends "stress is a huge enemy" and it is. take that walk, go to the bathroom! (uti's from not going suck! hahah), take a little longer in the shower, soak in the sunlight, enjoy the warmth of a fire, say "no" to something if you would rather spend time doing something else.
ReplyDeletetaking care of YOU is sooo important. so. so. so. important. i am so glad you're on this journey and i'm here to offer anything that i've learned so far!
Self care is hard to balance!
ReplyDeleteFor me, it starts with priorities and scheduling...Cutting things out and saying "no" are two of my best "secrets".
After that, I'm all about purposefully doing things. Making time to sleep is key. Spending time with God is even more essential. And then, taking moments to stop and think and plan as you go through your day. (IE You're at work. It's recess or lunch time or you're passing out papers. Ask yourself when you used the bathroom last and plan to go as soon as you can.)
One thing I keep in mind: I am replaceable. There is nothing that I can do that someone else isn't capable of doing.
What tips do YOU have?
I totally almost emailed you to vent about some introvert feelings this weekend! We definitely need to take time for self care... or we'll implode. Or maybe that's just me! And I realized the self care is totally fine to be something that other people think is weird. Like purposefully NOT having anyone over for a week or so... purposefully NOT putting something on the calendar... telling friends you just need a day home (even if there is no "good" reason other than you just need it.)
ReplyDeleteGood for you for deciding to take care of yourself, Kiki! It's a really hard thing to do, and I struggle with it as well, although I think I fare a little better than my peers here on campus. (Sleep is always priority for this student!) I think the hardest part of this whole thing is knowing when to say "no," and then being bold enough to actually say it–whether it's to yourself or to others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being honest here Kiki!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to realize that this is something that you NEED to take time for. It's a priority, and such a good discipline. I hope that it's a rewarding process for you to grow in this area!
This is so true! When I'm run down, exhausted, or not plugged in to the Word, not only do I suffer, but my family suffers too!
ReplyDeleteI love that you have a mentor at work! Wise lady. For self-care I definitely give myself a free pass after a long day to not worry about my checklist of things to do and just do something for me... usually that involves a bath, reading a good book, or watching some trashy television--and not letting myself feel guilty about it!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to do, right? I have two waterbottles (which both hold about two cups) that I bring to work with me and try to have one gone by the end of lunch, too! :) We actually don't have a break room but I try to take a few moments to just hide out in the office. I just have to keep reminding myself to actually go in there!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm hoping to do the same, too! Working out and running is something I'm hoping I get a chance to do before it gets too dark out in the evening hours!
Wise words, my friend! It is so incredibly hard for me to not feel guilty when it comes to taking care of myself but like you said, it's SO needed and I always feel better after I do it. Hooray for starting to ask for help! I still need to work on that one. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Ladonna! I need to keep that little mantra in my head because I know that I'm going to need it. :)
ReplyDeleteOoh, that sounds like a good program! You're getting your Masters for teaching, right? If I'm dead wrong, I apologize. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the idea of doing one thing each day for yourself. I actually REALLLLY love that and may have to adopt that and make it part of my routine. I'm actually trying to carve some time into my evenings for writing snail mail, journaling, or just doing some blog reading. It definitely makes the difference, that's for sure!
And thanks for the prayers!!! They're so appreciated. And always know I'm more than willing to pray for you, too!
Oh goodness, that sounds SO familiar. I get really stuck on serving others and wanting others to be happy (in general and with me). But like you said, sometimes we just have to stop trying so hard and stop trying to please others. It's definitely NOT natural for me to do that, though!
ReplyDeleteI love that you take a full hour each day for yourself. That sounds really good. And really freeing, too! :)
Agreed. I love all of the advice and tips I'm getting from this post! I've had people tell me to do ONE thing for myself each day, others tell me to take an hour for myself, and then your wise reminder that we only have ONE life, and ONE body to live this life. I actually have been taking longer showers and am trying to go to bed a lot earlier so I make time for reading, writing snail mail, and journaling, too. It's the little things, right?
ReplyDeleteAnd girl, I am ALL ears. I would love to hear more tips from ya! :)
I like to make lists and cut out the unnecessary, too! Unfortunately, I really feel like I'm at the "I can't cut anything out!" stage because I have a lot on my plate right now. BUT, I am trying to give myself an extra hour in bed for reading and writing and it's really helped. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd my co-teacher and I are really working to give each other breaks. We've actually made it a priority, so I'm thinking that now that we're into our third week, things will (hopefully!) go a lot smoother. :)
And it's funny that you mention being replaceable. It's really hard to swallow, but so true and something that my mentor also said as well!
As for tips, I really just think that it's important for me to focus on the little things. Longer showers, a few extra minutes in bed, cutting out a few blogs that I used to check daily, etc. :)
Funny that that happened! And girl, you know I'm ALWAYS open to introvert talk. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I would definitely implode if I didn't take time for myself! I've found myself barely surviving lately and while I know it'll get easier with time, it's still tough in the here and now, you know? But I've been really trying to focus on what I need and see my self-care as a need and not just a selfish want. Staying home is always good in my book!!
Thanks, Lauren! It's really hard for me to do, but I've found that sharing it on my blog really makes it real for me. I've actually made sleep more of a priority since starting my job and I'm so glad that I'm not a typical twenty-something that can survive off of a few hours sleep. That is DEFINITELY not me! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd saying no is something I struggle with as well. It's so hard but so empowering when we say it!
Thanks for the encouragement, Amy! :) Realizing that self-care is a need and not just a selfish want is something I struggle with but something I know I need to prioritize as a change. I never really thought of it as a matter of discipline, but it definitely is! :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! I've found that not caring for myself really takes a toll on my relationship with my loved ones and with God, too. It's tough to make time for self-care but it's so good when we do, right? :)
ReplyDeleteI am so lucky to have her in my life! I've known her for a few years now and it's so amazing to have someone in my life who's so experienced in the teaching field and so willing to share her knowledge with me. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of free passes. I've had a few other bloggers suggest taking an hour for myself and to really focus on doing one thing each day for myself. And I feel like free passes really go along the same (smart!) line. I find that little things work for me--including long showers, reading, and watching TV, too. I'm all for some TV time at the end of the day!
I love your tips! And that you and your co-teacher have talked and strategized! You know she's feeling it too! :)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have a very wise mentor! 😂😉 Seriously though...It's humbling to really believe that we are replaceable, but it's sooo true, and when we know that it takes allll kinds of pressure off.
I think I'll try some of your a little longer here, a little less there tips!
~ Victoria
www.myjourneyforhim.blogspot.com
It's so important! I think a big thing is knowing when your body is telling you to take a break, and listening even when it's not the most convenient time.
ReplyDeleteSelf care is definately a priority! One summer - working at a theme park of all places, where they aren't exactly screwed without my help - I worked myself almost to death. And I say that seriously - I ended up in the hospital with extreme dehydration and was on ordered bed rest for an entire MONTH! If you don't take care now, your body will certainly pay you back for it later. So take those bathroom breaks, girl!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so haaaard. :( But I keep hearing that right now is the prime time to take care of ourselves because it will slowly show itself as we get older... Drinking water, taking makeup off before we sleep, taking vitamins, etc. :( I'm right there with ya, sister.
ReplyDeleteI loved yours, too! I am really lucky to have both a mentor and co-teacher. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without the two of them in my life! :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed! It's really hard for me to listen to mine when I know that there are so many other bodies around that need me, but I need to remind myself that my needs are sometimes just as important as theirs and I can't keep putting them on the back burner! :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! My co-teacher and I have been making bathroom breaks a priority and I've been trying to make sure others get bathroom breaks (and water breaks!) because I know how much we ALL need them. :)
ReplyDeleteSo true, friend, SO true. I love what you said about taking care of myself since we're in the prime of our lives. I definitely take my age and health for granted and really need to start realizing that this is my ONE body (something Amy mentioned, actually!). :)
ReplyDeleteWith working from home (Which is a new direction God is taking me in) I now more than ever need to make that time just so I don't burn out. The problem, for me at least, is I can take advantage of that time now and take more and being lazy can be an issue. It is something I have to pray over regularly.
ReplyDeleteI am actually in a school counseling program. Close enough because I was a teacher :)
ReplyDeleteThe small self care is awesome and has definitely changed my perception on daily practice, because it doesn't have to be long and extensive but its something just for you. Eventually you will come to crave that time and just keep it sacred because it's what yeps you move from day to day.
I encourage people to look at self care in two ways. Ideally, we should routinely be doing things that are good for us. Think about your senses and on a daily basis make sure you are seeing something that is good for you, listening to something that is enjoyable, wearing something that you enjoy..... doing small thins daily helps to establish a base. You then want to have a list of things you do for those really bad days (I have a self care box and talk about it on the blog). I like the statement "If you can't show compassion to yourself, how can you show compassion to anyone else?"
ReplyDeleteOh, whoops! But that's so cool that you want to work at schools as a counselor! We definitely need good ones in our school and based off what you've said and written, I can tell you're a good one!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are sooo right! It doesn't have to be a long period of time nor does it have to be something expensive or extensive. Just something for YOU. :)
I've noticed that when it comes to blogging! I love blogging but I sometimes get a little worn out or overwhelmed with my to-do lists and have to remind myself that this is a passion of mine that I love. So while I don't really work from home, I sorta get what you're saying. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I also get what you mean about the balance between self-care and laziness, too. Prayer definitely helps!! :)
Ooh, I love what you said about thinking about my senses and what I think is good for me. That's actually a really good challenge for me and I can't wait to sit down and just make a list of the little things that will help me get started! Thanks for that tip! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd YES, that is such a good quote! I think it definitely relates to what I've heard from friends, teachers, and co-workers: if I want to take care of others, I also need to take care of myself!
I am an advocate for self-care 100%. But I'm also not the best at it, either. I always have to remind myself of what I act like when I haven't slowed down or gotten significant rest in awhile (it ain't pretty). It's amazing what a different it makes to just stop and sit down and journal for 20 minutes or read my Bible for a half-hour. I'm the same way at work too... I always have to tell myself, "There's a REASON that the government has mandated breaks/lunches at work!"
ReplyDeleteI am with you 100%, Leah! I am definitely an advocate for it but am not so great at advocating for myself and getting myself to sit down and take a break every now and then.
ReplyDeleteAnd I LOVE what you said at the end, there IS a reason why we're given mandated breaks and lunches at work! :)
I think this is super important and I'm glad your taking the steps to try and make it a priority in your schedule. I think this is something I can have trouble doing when I'm super busy or stressed even. For the most part, though, I think I'm pretty good at it. Once my day at work is over and I clock out, my mind doesn't think about anything dealing with work. (Unless something major is going on with a child, we need knew ideas, or there is a lot of paperwork) Once I'm in my car and heading home, it's like I'm on a whole new schedule...just life and "me."
ReplyDeleteGoing to read Elizabeth's post now!
I like what you said about leaving work at work. I think that's something that's really important if you want to refresh yourself and just be good at your job! :)
ReplyDelete